strokey spice is back
Update, where have I been and what has happened??
I know it has been a while, but I am back.
This is more in depth than an instagram picture that I probably posted to prove to myself that I still could.
On November 2nd I had six strokes. They are classified as ischemic strokes with bilateral vertebral artery dissection.
Basically what that means is the inner lining of both of my vertebral arteries got injured thus creating clots stopping or restricting the blood flow to my brain.
The week before my head and the back of my neck was severely sore. After doing my research after my strokes, I learned that it was a symptom of my vertebral arteries breaking. (Yay <3)
Now you may be asking yourself, “Sammy why did this happen bitch??”.
Great question, you will be surprised (not if you have met me), my strokes were mechanical and they were caused by me cracking (aggressively) my neck for give or take the last 15 years (technically I did it yay, but in my defense no one told me).
Enough sadness or anxiety inducing stuff. Fun fact, I was still stained kinda green from halloween, I had half brows (that is normal for me without makeup), and brushed out long curly red hair (I looked so ugly YAY) when I had my strokes and was in the hospital.
So I spent all of November and December in the hospital. I spent January and February learning how to walk and talk like I used to and perfecting my makeup skills. This month I am slowly getting back to work (sustainably, turns out working 28 days a month is not smart, who knew), walking in heels again (it is important to me, give me heels or give me death), and working on my fine motor skills on my right side.
I’ve had an amazing support system. I couldn’t have gotten through this time and the future without my amazing family, the most incredible friends, the best boyfriend a boy could ask for, and a work team that is out of this world. Seriously thank you to my amazing parents, my brother Daniel, McKenna, Sage, Sydney, Avery, Morgan, Anu, Sara, Don, Gordon, Yon, Raelynne, Garrett, Mike, Kodi, Jackson, Monique, Brenna, Connor, Jay, Bri, Celeste, Maddie, Jordan, Michelle, Carlos, Allie, Ant, Jason, and Jack. There are MANY more people to thank but those are the ones off the top of my head.
So what does this mean for me and my acting, coaching, and my book?
Well because my strokes were mechanical and as I am still quite young (don’t be jealous), I was also able to get to the hospital before I had my strokes. They told me I can still have a normal and full life. I obviously have to be careful and take my aspirin, statin, and regularly see a doctor a few times a year, but my doctors and I (my doctors and therapists mostly) believe I can get to 95% to 100% recovery.
I still plan on getting back into acting and singing (you would need more than a stroke to keep this bitch down). As far as coaching goes I want to thank anyone and everyone that I’ve ever directed, taught, or coached. I am slowly taking my roster back from those who have helped a sister out (me). And as far as my book goes, it is still happening, it's still modeled off of The art of motorcycle maintenance and The game of tennis, it’s just that not including my perspective change would be a huge disservice.
Speaking of my perspective change, my biggest fear in life is to have regrets. To not experience everything I can while I am still here. I now look at life like this; like it or not we are all gonna die at some point and while I am here I want to live, and I don’t wanna die in a hospital bed (the lighting is so bad and honestly I don’t look cute). I want to live every moment deliberately and have no regrets and I bring that into my work, writing, and art.
I’ll be back very soon, I’m working on a piece about the alexander technique and the laban efforts and also a piece about insecurity.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
-Khalil Gibran
Thank you for reading,
Sjm
